Consistent Discipline
// June 3rd, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized
Consistency and discipline. These are two areas of life that have always been a struggle for me. I don’t think that is uncommon for many people, but it is definitely common for me. I am good at starting things. At pioneering projects and beginning them with excitement, devotion and an air of commitment. But, where I struggle is in the middle. I’m not saying I’m not a finisher. I do finish whatever I start. However, the middle of the road is where my struggle lies. I’m the type of person who needs a specific set of directions, a narrow description of what needs to get done, in order to be put to best use and work most effectively. As long as I have specific jobs, dates to meet, criteria and a direction to follow, I am completely engaged and doing an effective job. Give me a job with no description, and I will more than likely become bored and complacent with it. Give me a specific task to do, and I will sit down, with some music on, and grind it out. It’s just how I am. How I’ve developed. How I work.
This blog has been no different…
I apologize to you. To my readers. To those who follow me. To my supporters and those who have sacrificed to get me here. When I started this website/blog, I believe I had intentions of updating it for you. However, looking back now, I realize that it was more for me. Somewhere for me to write stories down in case I wanted to remember them. I had no specific goals to meet, and that is where I began to veer off the path. I realize now, with a great deal of help from someone who constantly challenges me and holds me accountable, that this blog is NOT for ME. It is for you. So to those who constantly check it, daily, weekly even, only to find a post from a month earlier that is growing stale with days passing, with nothing new to report, I am sorry. It is because of you that I am here. It is for you that I should be writing, not myself. I owe it to you. I am responsible to give you insight into my life. Insight into how I am doing emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, in my work and time in Rwanda and in everyday life. How can I expect you to be able to pray for me if I can’t even let you in on what’s going on in my life? And I want your prayers. I need them. Badly. I enjoy writing. I think I’m a good writer. I struggle with being consistent with it, because every time I write, I feel like it needs to be perfect. That whatever I write down needs to matter, needs to be written well, needs to be perfect in my eyes, so that it can be perfect in yours. Well, not anymore…
I am vowing to be more consistent. To be disciplined about updating you. I am setting a goal this time. I will write on this blog at least once per week. This is a realistic goal. A parameter that you can see and hold me accountable for. This is my email address – peytongreenwald@gmail.com. Now you have it. Email me about anything. About life. About Rwanda. I ask you to get in my face and call me out about writing. About life. About me. Here is what you can expect to see in the future from me: stories about everyday life, stories from Sonrise, stories about people I meet and know and interact with everyday, stories about me (good and bad), opinions, beliefs, hobbies, what I’m into, music, movies, books, pictures, theology, spiritual matters, my struggles, my triumphs, truth and honesty, what makes me tick, what makes me ME. Anything and everything. I ask you to be engaged. To ask me questions, to comment, to tell me how you really feel. Because I am going to tell you how I really feel. I will wear no mask or hide myself from you. I am naturally an introvert, but it will be no excuse for me to hide behind. I am going to have to get over that. I want to be here for you to see, plain and simple, Peyton Greenwald.
UPDATE: I have been back home in Little Rock, Arkansas in the good ol’ USofA, for the past month. I have loved it. I have loved being with friends and family and those who I hold dear to my heart. I have road tripped to North Carolina, gone to the lake, eaten out too much and gained a few pounds, and done things that I have missed doing the past 4 months in Rwanda. But now, I am heading back. I am leaving tomorrow morning at 6 am and flying back to Rwanda, where I will be serving for another 5 months. I am excited about it. I love Rwanda. I am ready to be back with those who are special to me there and in whom I am investing my time and energy.
Here is how you can pray for me right now:
- In being consistent
- For discipline
- For my heart
- For patience
- For safety – flying
- For Lindsey – She is traveling to Rwanda with me and will be there for a few weeks visiting Sonrise and getting a glimpse of this wonderful place. I ask that you would specifically pray for her flights home, for her safety, and that she would be moved by the people there
- For these next 5 months – that my work would be engaging, fulfilling, specific, and that I would be able to fully devote myself to whatever tasks are presented to me at Sonrise and for Bridge2Rwanda
- For my team on ground in Rwanda – Mark, Kat, Griffin, Anna, Kelly, Bob and Tom
Imana aguhe umugushi (God bless you),
- Peyton
P.S. – This is what I was listening while I was writing this:
